So today I moved from a half tablet in the morning to a half tablet in the afternoon. Which means for a good few hours of today I wasn’t medicated. Without having been told a specific time to take my tables I’d been taking them at 7am so today I took my afternoon one at 3pm. It was just hitting me that the medication was wearing off. Before the afternoon tablet kicked in I went into a low.
Why am I being excluded? I’m not good enough, that’s why. I don’t have an opinion or understand anyway. Tears. I feel like I’m worthless. I went through all this while being told in front of my entire company that I was doing a great job.
Going through that and then having the medication kick in really made me see this stuff is helping me.
When these lows hit before Zoloft a part of me knew I was being ridiculous but I still couldn’t control it. Zoloft and my amazing psychotherapist are helping me have less of these thoughts. They’re helping me build up the strength so when I come off the Zoloft I’m stronger and less likely to spin out.